Something was brought to my attention recently. My sister has been watching the undateables and asked me how come I don't talk like other autistic person and my response was, because I have grown up with outspoken people and been told all my life that there was nothing wrong with me.
According to doctors, woman with autism, don't show signs of it and are better at concealing it.
And I am, I can hide anything from anyone. I am cruel, selfish, jealous and a very negative person.
So how am I different to none aspies?
- I don't care for my appearance.
- If I know I'm going on holiday. then I will research everything - location, activities, read all reviews about where I'm staying and what is near by.
- I wear sunglasses even if there isn't any sun.
- I use plastic spoons to eat pudding and cereals.
- I dream every time I close my eyes and they are always vivid, my nightmares are the worst, I cry in my sleep. I can sometimes control my dreams as well.
- I hate going out by myself, the thought of crossing a busy road scares me, and if the person I'm with crosses without me then I get really agitated.
- I have mild OCD.
- I struggle with change and prefer it didn't happen.
- Classical music calms me.
- I can listen to loud music but I have to control the volume of it.
- My social skills are crap - I struggle to make friends and keep them or they drop me.
- I hate large groups of people (even family members).
- I'm shy.
- When I get angry, I scream and throw things.
- I don't like being touched unless asked first.
- I play children's dress up games online when I'm bored.
- I love art, especially photography, that's where my creativity started.
- I'm an attention seeker and crave it from partners.
- My head is like a giant bomb, if it ever went off, I'd probably end up in a mental hospital.
- If I'm in a quiet room, someone's breathing will drive me crazy.
- I've never had a job.
- I don't understand hints, so if you have something to say, just say it.
- I can't understand math at all.
- I will tell you how it is.
- I can't tell the time, concept of time stresses me out, I like working at my own pace.
- I hate being stared at - even though I like eye contact when I'm talking to you.
- If your being mean as I joke, I will take it personally,
- I don't like interrupting conversations but if I have something to say I can't wait otherwise I will forget.
- I am rude, immature, childish and sarcastic.
- I swear a lot.
- I get distracted easily.
- I am not the same as every other autistic person, so don't assume.
- I work better following pictures and videos.
- I can love but show it differently - I buy presents to represent my love for you.
- I can worry about other people.
- If you give me a gift, even though I don't look grateful, I am.
- I leave things to the last minute.
- Anything can stress me out.
- I have depression.
- I will reveal personally things about myself to strangers.
- I don't trust anyone, not even my family.
- I can put a mask on and act happy.
- I love facts.
- Not every autistic person is highly intelligent.
- I lie and I hate doing it, but if it means not hurting someone then I will do it.
- It's easy to manipulate me.
- I have sensory issues.
- I'd rather be at home than anywhere else.
- Getting older scares me, especially if everyone leaves me.
- I love fantasy, sci fi, and anime that I wish my life was like them.
That's all I can think of right now, in the future I will add to it.
Just because people know about autism, doesn't make it right to judge me and presume you know how I feel and cope with it.
There is no cure! Don't give us a reason to think so.
After 4 years of blogging, I can say that I love you all for accepting me.
Thank you =]
Love, Emma xxx
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